Mummy Oh! Mummy

My tooth has been aching since the last few days. The dentist suspecting an infection of the leftmost molar prescribed an antibiotic and said if the pain doesn’t subside in the next 3 days, we would prefer an extraction. What else do I need than a “Mumbai Rain” drenched Saturday morning with a tooth ache, alone at home to ride the Doraemon’s time machine and travel back in time?

I met her for the first time about 21 years back. A flamboyant Delhiite lady draped in light green color kancheevaram saree with a handbag along with her husband had visited our home in a small town in Kerala. She was suave and loquacious and lovingly accepted by our clan into the family. She would soon be the Mother in Law to my only sister. Her only son, soon to be my Brother in Law lovingly call he “Mummy”. In our neighborhood, we addressed our mothers as “Amma” and the word “Mummy” was little strange though not unknown.

She loved to talk and whenever and wherever we met all these years, I used to sit beside her and listen to her stories. Originally from a joint family near our place in Kochi, she was married at a young age to a banker, widely travelled and stayed all over India particularly the north. Obviously, she had lots of stories to tell right from her childhood, family and of course her sojourns over the years. She was inspiring and we were always at an awe listening to her.  

I was her son and at times a younger brother. It was a unique relationship that we shared. She used to call me by my first name and at times “Sanna”, a name uniquely reserved by my sister. Sometimes I used to call her mummy, at times “mayi” which in our mother tongue meant aunty. When our children were born, along with them we all used to call her “bapami” meaning grandmother. Of course, when the basis of a relationship is love and affection what is there in a name?

She loved inviting people to their house. She was an excellent cook who loved to treat whosoever came her way. She prepared the cuisines of north to south, east to west and had those magical fingers that made any dish a delicacy. I always had the privilege of having those namkeens, the crispy chaklis, the chivdas and laddoos which she exclusively prepared for me whenever I visited her in Delhi or sent through anyone in the family who visited us in Mumbai.

The rain has subsided. My time machine has reversed its gears and is back to Mumbai. It is not travelling forward anymore. I would miss her. My tooth is still aching. I don’t mind an extraction of the molar for why do I need it anymore for Mummy is no more there to prepare those tasty Chaklis!!

#Respect

Thoughts are always random. You never know what and how they get triggered. Last evening when I was driving in the city, a sticker on the rear of a taxi plying in the front was the trigger for this thought. It read "Driver of this taxi respects Women". 

Probably the company that runs the taxi would have trained the drivers to be sensitive to women passengers. That may also be their unique selling proposition (USP). Good initiative! I only hope everyone follow this example.

The sad part is that even in this 21^st century when mankind is taking big leaps and aspiring to inhabit neighbouring planet, we still need to teach our men to #respect fellow humans and need strong laws and enforcement of the same to protect the citizens especially women and children from men!  

In an age when women stand shoulder to shoulder with men, we need an act of parliament to protect women from harassment at workplace. Few months back we had a session in office on the POSH (Prevention of Sexual harassment at workplaces Act). The Gentlemen are now being taught to treat women properly!  Sometimes I question myself - Are we progressing or regressing?

vidya-vinaya-sampanne
brahmane gavi hastini
suni caiva sva-pake ca
panditah sama-darsinah

vidya—education; vinaya—gentleness; sampanne—fully equipped; brahmane—in the brahmana; gavi—in the cow; hastini—in the elephant; suni—in the dog; ca—and; eva—certainly; svapake—in the dog-eater (the outcaste); ca—respectively; panditah-those who are so wise; sama-darsinah—do see with equal vision.

TRANSLATION

The humble sage, by virtue of true knowledge, sees with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste].

Bhagawad Gita – Chapter-5 Shloka -18 (https://asitis.com/5/18.html)

 Is this the same India whose ancient scriptures teach us the virtue to respect humans and see the same divinity in a learned person, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog eater (an outcaste in those days)? In the 69 years since adoption, we have amended our constitution 103 times, on an average 1.5 amendments a year. New laws were formulated many of them prescribe and proscribe the actions of an average citizen. It is high time we ponder over and ask ourselves whether these constitution amendments and prescriptive regulations are a substitute for our inherent values.

This reminds me of a small parable told to us during my school days which goes like this…

Once upon a time, there was a guru, patriarch who used to teach children. One day when he was walking with his child army, the pencil fell down from his bag and the guru was unable to bend and lift it. The children were looking at each other undecided who will help the teacher. Upon return, the teacher made a list of things and a code of conduct for his children. It had a detailed list of things he had, the book, pencil, shawl and in case something is dropped accidently the children should pick the same. 

This day onwards children followed the rules diligently and life became so simple. One day during another stroll with the children, the guru tripped, and the puzzled children were found looking at the list for instructions!

All the laws come with a “enforcement cost”, the additional burden on the exchequer to implement and enforce the laws. In addition to the financial impact, the cost could also be irreparable damage to our behaviour. It is high time we move to consolidate our value system and start doing things ourselves without a stick by the state.

Else the day is not too far when we will stare at the laws and wonder what to do when we ourselves fall from grace!